Mental health during Christmas

It can be difficult to talk about your mental health. Here are some tips from experts to help you open up the conversation with your family and friends this Christmas.

As we travel home for Christmas, we are often laden with gifts, booze, and snacks. But there is also the feeling of anticipation. For some, returning home to see family is a way to ask a lot of questions.

The Christmas period can quickly become less about a celebration and more about a job interview, whether it’s your aunt questioning your relationship status or distant cousin asking you questions about your career.

Questions about your mental health, or more likely the symptoms, are the most requested of all subjects. Some people feel worsened by Christmas stress. It can be difficult to explain this to family members and friends who don’t understand.

Jo Love, a mental-health advocate and author of Therapy Is…Magic: An Essential Guide to the Ups, Downs, And Life-Changing Experiences of Talking Therapy, says that «talking about your mental well-being is difficult.» Sometimes it’s easier to talk to family members and friends than to strangers. However, having a conversation can have enormous benefits such as increased support from family members and reassurance.

She adds, «It’s important to remember that your friends and family don’t have to know what you’re going though. It’s enough for them to understand that you are struggling in order to get the support and help you need. People who have never experienced depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue are not always able to describe it.»

These tips will make it easier to talk about your mental health with family and friends.

1. Prepare, prepare, prepare

It can be nerve-wracking to speak about such a sensitive topic to those closest to you. Take the time to prepare and think carefully about what you will say.

What are you looking for in a conversation? Are you simply looking to share your thoughts with them or are you seeking their help? Before you start to dive in, make sure you have a goal.

Love explains that while it is tempting to just blurt out these things, you can reduce stress by taking your time to plan ahead what you will say.

A few bullet points is often more useful than reading a lengthy speech. Everyone feels sad or anxious at times. You want to be able to tell your family and friends.

She says, «Being precise, clear and concise will help you get your point across.» It is a good idea to speak to your doctor as often as possible about how your symptoms have affected your life.

You should also consider where and when you will start the conversation. Love says, «Once you feel ready to have a discussion, pick a place and time that is comfortable and private.»

Try to pick a time that you can have their full attention. You don’t have to be time-pressured, or you are likely to get interrupted. This will make it easier for them to pay attention to you and take your words seriously.

2. You should be prepared for unexpected reactions

If everyone could see your point of view in a perfect world, mental health would be a common concern. But that is not always the case.

For example, some people might take it personally if they hear you feel anxious or depressed. They may think it’s something they did or were unable to do that caused it.

It’s crucial to remain calm in these situations and to clearly explain your motivations. Mental health is not always determined by circumstances. It’s more of a health problem.

It can be useful to use comparisons: remind them that if they had persistent back pain they would seek treatment. The same goes for mental health issues.

Life coach Rebecca Lockwood says that «some people don’t get it,» especially older generations. Don’t be afraid of the reaction you might get if your openness is rewarded with a conversation. It’s not personal.

It doesn’t matter how people respond to you, your feelings and experiences will always be valid.

3. It is important to write it down

Writing a journal entry or letter can help you get started if the thought of discussing your mental health is overwhelming.

You can write down your feelings and thoughts, whether you want to share them with anyone. This will help you understand your feelings and better communicate your situation.

Lockwood suggests journaling if you don’t feel like talking to anyone. Just grab a piece paper and a pen to write down everything that comes to mind. It doesn’t matter how you analyze it. Just let it be. It’s okay to throw it away.

Love agrees. «If you are really nervous and want to put off having a conversation, writing it down is a great way of starting a dialog. Sometimes, a letter, email, or text is all you need to keep your conversation going.»